NICCAGESHAIRLINE

Me me me me me:

Wait, what? Whoa, I know. What a pout, what a catch, what a wig, what a ****.

Moi? Newly back on the market after 5 years away, no quick sale reductions available yet - but give it time. A square-jawed-oft-hat-wearing-slap-head that looks, feels & certainly behaves a fair few years younger than his 50+ carbon dating. Geographically displaced to the West Midlands from Brighton for my son, who's now fully flown the coop post-uni.

I like a proper good ol' chat on here before meeting, but should we get to go in-person...

First date rules (terms and conditions* apply):

- No laughing and/or flirting
- No leaving through or getting stuck in small bathroom windows
- No sexual tension
- No levitating and/or telekinesis
- No magnets
- No more than 3 active STDs
- No arm wrestling
- No stage magic
- No packed lunches

* Hazmat suit and/or Kim Wilde mask must be worn at all times
* None of these rules apply to me, only you

Laughs: Well-rooted & meaning wrongness in general. Boyle, Lee, Always Sunny, Eric Andre, US Office, Parks & Rec, Adult swim

Politics: Socialist, campaigned for Corbyn. No Tories, buy-to-lets or enthused on private healthcare thanks.

Likes: Lycra-PB-routes-on-face****-free activities: Tennis, footy, table tennis, garage pool, cycling to shops, BBQs & canal/river boozers. Unplanned big ones. Comedy & music (listen and live), film, creative stuff mixing old & new skools. Staying curious.  

Audio: War Paint, Fontaines DC, New Order, Alex Turner, Albarn, The Smile, Bowie, Elvis, Indie, anything but thrash really. No snobbery - nothing wrong with a bit of Le Bon. No, not that bit. Jesus, we've only just met. Impressive. Always listening to new stuff...

Visual: Big on docs (Adam Curtis etc), big on arthouse & world, but again no snob - I'll still do Happy Gilmore with a few drinks. Clever horror, not averse to a big blockbuster (Barbie was great), but not big on LOTR/fantasy (What? For a half-techie?!) or Marvel etc. The Bear was great, well the first two series were anyway...

Skills (some to pay bills): Creative techie stuff in XR & AI, used to be in old skool telly and then streaming. Yes, I have z-list Big Brother and celeb stories. I used to have 'hiding', 'mutiny', 'undermining', 'pub Olympian' and 'buffet king' on LinkedIn. Being right handed and left footed, higher ed at art school & with techie stuff - I can f*** up your oil painting AND your laptop. Leaving baggage at the airport, and anyone who has no baggage to leave around this age maybe needs to go to the life shop and spend big.

Mantra: If you're not still loving, laughing & learning then you're not living at this age - in Comic Sans on a Kim Jong Un backdrop.